stay tuned...

Greg, Asher and I are off tomorrow for our big road trip and family reunion. I'm a little nervous about the drive down, and how Asher will do in the car for such a long trip, but I'm sure we will all survive.

Stay tuned next week for an update from us. I already have such good material on Greg since he's been on vacation. It's all just... just... priceless!

a week of 50's

Asher's weight after his doctor's appointment: 12lbs 14oz or 50th percentile

Asher's height after his doctor's appointment: 24inches or 50th percentile

Frequency of Asher sleeping through the night, out of the last 8 nights: 4 or 50% of the time

Number of hours it will take us to travel the 5 hours to our family reunion this week: probably 50 (oh dear)

a sunny Sunday

Asher and I spent a bit of time outside enjoying this sunny Sunday.

Greg is cleaning the truck today, and decided to show Asher his work. Asher did seem surprisingly interested... and by that I mean, he WASN'T crying and actually looked around. Must be a boy thing

Asher is also working on figuring out how to work his hands. He's very interested in looking at things, but still hasn't managed to coordinate his hands to touch yet.

With just a tad bit of help, he was able to hold onto this little bug friend, but then lost interest. Go figure!


And that's the excitement around here these days. Isn't it just overwhelming! :)

Look-a-like

Lately a lot of people have been commenting that Asher looks a lot like Greg. For the most part, I have a hard time seeing who he looks like. I think maybe this just has to do with the fact that he's my baby... usually I can see this in other people's children.

So, just for fun, the other day I pulled out some baby pictures of Greg and I to see if this would help me to see either of us in Asher.

Here's me (or as Greg pointed out, the Pillsbury dough boy baby!)

And here's Greg, or possibly Jeff :)

I think Asher definitely looks more like Greg as a baby huh?

Well as I was looking through old photo's, I also found these. This is my dad when he was a baby... I think Asher looks a lot like him here.

And this next one is a bit spooky. This is my mom holding me when I was a baby. Greg and I were both shocked at how much I look like my mom in this picture.

Nuts, huh?

Oh what a night!

The evening started out like any other here at home. Asher started his fussing at about 6:00, and had a hard time going to sleep for the night when we tried to put him to bed shortly after 7:00. Greg and I have recently decided to put Asher to bed a bit earlier because we thought he may need that. The little guy finally dozed off around 7:45.

At 10:00 I roused him just enough to eat. It's called a "dream feed". Essentially the point is that Asher will do his longest stretch of sleep from the time I go to bed at night, not from when we put him down. We've been doing it for about a week and it seems to be working - Asher's only getting up once at around 4:00 to eat. So he ate pretty well at 10:00 and then had a big diaper explosion, so I changed him, at which point he woke up screaming. Really, I don't blame the poor guy, all snug and sleepy and full tummy. Who would like to be woken up to being stripped down and changed?!?

So I heard Asher around 4:00 in his crib. He was making some little happy noises - coos and sighs - but no crying or fussing. I decided I'd wait until he started whining before I got up to feed him. Honestly folks, I can often get another 20 minutes of sleep this way. And I mean, the boy was happy after all, so no harm, right?

Well, much to my surprise, when I finally heard Asher starting to fuss, I rolled over and saw this!

I KNOW! 6:02! The little guy FELL BACK ASLEEP! How glorious to only wake up at 6:02!

So here's a picture of Asher after sleeping through his first whole night.

And this is usually what I find every morning. Typical Asher. He's managed to wiggle his way out of the swaddle wrap, and it's always the same one leg he gets free. We think it's pretty funny :)

So this makes me wonder, all this time when I get up at 4:00 to feed Asher, he's actually never really crying, just making some little noises, awake. Maybe he hasn't really needed or wanted to eat after all. So does that mean I COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ALL THIS TIME?!?!

I'm going to test-run this theory again tonight!

our first "camping" trip...

... except we didn't quite spend the night. We didn't want to miss our church's annual camping trip, so we went up for the day. I think it still counts though because we DID travel over an hour to our closest National Park and spend 6 hours being eaten alive by black flies. After all, isn't that what camping is all about? :)

Here we are, a family shot!

Asher was terrific on the way up and spend a few hours of the afternoon snoozin' in the Moby Wrap.

It's so convenient to be able to wear your baby and have your hands free, plus he usually LOVES it in there.

After a while we took a break from the black flies (we can't put bug spray on the poor little fellow). Asher continued his nap in our SUV. Pretty cute huh?

It did rain later in the afternoon. Look how CUTE Asher is in his little rain coat!


Aww the whole family!

And I HAVE TO post this one of my husband. We were playing a group game with the children of hug-tag. Here's Greg mid-flight trying to get our friend Thomas.

It was a fun day!

just for you Papa

Asher is handsome, just like his Papa, don't you think? :)

JUST JOKING! I meant more like this.

some truth

A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three.

~Grantly Dick-Read

While breastfeeding may not seem the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby.

~Amy Spangler

If a multinational company developed a product that was a nutritionally balanced and delicious food, a wonder drug that both prevented and treated disease, cost almost nothing to produce and could be delivered in quantities controlled by the consumers' needs, the very announcement of their find would send their shares rocketing to the top of the stock market. The scientists who developed the product would win prizes and the wealth and influence of everyone involved would increase dramatically. Women have been producing such a miraculous substance, breast milk, since the beginning of human existence.

~Gabrielle Palmer

Breastfeeding is a mother's gift to herself, her baby and the earth.

~Pamela K. Wiggins

Breastfeeding is an unsentimental metaphor for how love works, in a way. You don't decide how much and how deeply to love - you respond to the beloved, and give with joy exactly as much as they want.

~Marni Jackson

People need to understand that when they're deciding between breast milk and formula, they're not deciding between Coke and Pepsi.... They're choosing between a live, pure substance and a dead substance made with the cheapest oils available.

~Chele Marmet

When we trust the makers of baby formula more than we do our own ability to nourish our babies, we lose a chance to claim an aspect of our power as women. Thinking that baby formula is as good as breast milk is believing that thirty years of technology is superior to three million years of nature's evolution. Countless women have regained trust in their bodies through nursing their children, even if they weren't sure at first that they could do it. It is an act of female power, and I think of it as feminism in its purest form.

~Christine Northrup

You should know that colicky breastfed babies tend to be very intelligent. This may be because they get so much attention and handling and care, or it may just be that smart babies are often colicky. It is, though, partly due to the breast milk.

~ Dr. Jack Newman

Remember how I said that I loved quotes? I know, that's probably a little over-the-top "quoteness" for one post, but I REALLY needed to hear some truth about breastfeeding.

Lately it seems everyone has a story about how some brand of formula helped their baby with colic and every where I turn it feels like people infer (either directly or indirectly) that maybe the problem with Asher's crying is the breast milk (he's not getting enough or I'm not doing it right or there's something "wrong" with it). If as you read this you start to wonder if I'm talking about you, it's okay... please don't get offended. Please. I know that people love us and want to see the best for Asher, and so I understand that these words come out of a place of caring. And I appreciate that people care and want to help. I really do.

It's just that I think breastfeeding is the right choice for Asher and I, I really, really do. And maybe that's not the case for everyone, and I respect that. I don't want to judge other peoples choices about how they feed their child, and in turn, I don't want to be judged for mine. Or be made to feel like I'm harming Asher by breastfeeding him, because I just don't think that's the case. I've read oodles on the topic and, even with the crying, long-term, I believe this is the right thing. I'm committed to working this out; to do what I can so that we can continue to nurse and figure out Asher's deal with his crying. Today I just needed to hear some truth about breastfeeding.

that's what love is

"A woman's life isn't worth a plateful of cabbage if she hasn't felt life stir under her heart. Taking a little one to nurse, watching him grow to manhood, that's what love is."

Carol Shields, The Stone Diaries

Something about this quote makes me want to just cry. Really cry. Pure, simple truth that I believe with my whole being.

lil' cowboy

Who says you can't dress up boys? :)

all boy photo session

I took some photos of Asher yesterday dressed up in a VERY boy outfit that we got as a gift. Here are some of his many faces that we see everyday:

Yip, that's my boy! :)

Asher's first road trip

This weekend was Asher's very first road trip! It sounds more exciting than it really was actually. We drove about an hour outside of town to visit Greg's aunt and uncles home for a mini family reunion with Greg's dad's side of the family.

Asher did really well in the car, although we totally weren't sure what to expect because sometimes being in the car for him is like being in a torture chamber! I sat next to him in the back seat the whole way there and back just in case mass panic ensued, which I'm glad to report, it didn't really. Asher slept on and off for most of the drive, and in between he was pretty quiet and just checked things out.

Here he is chillaxin' while his Gramma hung out in the front seat.

We also got to meet some pretty cool people, including Asher's GREAT grandfather!

So Greg and I are hoping that this road trip is a sign of things to come for our upcoming 5 HOUR drive (which will probably be a 10 hour drive with stops to nurse and stretch) to visit my family at the end of the month!

No task

"There is no large and difficult task that can't be divided into little easy tasks."

Buddhist saying

day 5 of the Official Nap Schedule

So today is day 5 of implementing the Official Nap Schedule with Asher. Part of me had started to wonder about a week ago if some of Asher's fussiness in the evenings had to do with the fact that he wasn't getting a good solid nap during the day. He often just napped for an hour here, half an hour there, but nothing consistent. So I did some reading about sleep and babies, and decided to try out an Official Nap Schedule, which you think I would have started earlier since I'm so anal and scheduled. So here's the plan of action; 3 naps a day broken down in a 2 hour morning nap, a 2 hour afternoon nap, a half an hour late afternoon/early evening nap, and then his regular 8:30 bedtime. Here's how it's gone down this week:

Monday - went according to plan. Asher slept when he was supposed to, pretty much. I think to myself, "Wow, this Official Nap Schedule was so easy to implement!" Still the same fussiness in the evening though. Stink.

Tuesday - not quite as good as Monday, but still okay. Asher had a bit more trouble staying down for 2 hours in the morning, was a bit late getting down for the afternoon nap, and he had a really hard time doing his evening nap. We pretty much stuck to the schedule though.

Wednesday - SUCKED. We were out in the morning and so he woke up and wouldn't go back down. His eating schedule got thrown off as a result, and his afternoon nap really turned out to be catnaps all over the place. Frig, that wasn't so easy after all.

Thursday - we decided to stay home and work this nap thing out. Asher slept later than normal in the morning so he didn't sleep so great for his morning nap. He had trouble going down for his afternoon nap too, although he did sleep for 2 hours. He feel asleep pretty easily for his evening nap though and wasn't quite so insanely fussy after that for most of the evening.

Friday - Asher went down okay for his morning nap but has since woken up 2o million times. I keep going back in and calming him down and putting him back down to go to sleep. We're an hour and a half into it. I'm optimistic that we may actually be getting somewhere with this.

Or maybe I'm just a bit deluded due to sleep deprivation. Hey, maybe I should try out the Official Nap Schedule on myself :)

summer nights

It has been so INSANELY hot here this week. The good news for us is that we get shade on our back patio from about mid-afternoon on, which means we spend a lot of time out there in the evenings. Asher has enjoyed feeling the breeze on his face, checking out the sights, and napping with his Papa...

the birth house

I really like to read. I always have. My mother would tell you stories about how when I was younger, she would come check in on me before she went to bed at night, and I'd be hiding under my covers with a flashlight reading. I've always enjoyed getting lost in a story, being captivated by people, experiences and events that are so foreign to me. Or even ones that are familiar, but challenge my perspective. I love a good author, who has the ability to bring meaning to life from the mere use of words. I love the look of books, the feel of them in my hand, the sound of pages turning.

I know, I'm a geek.

It gets worse. I also belong to a book club!

AND, now that I have a blog of my own, I can fulfill my childhood dream of being like the kids on Reading Rainbow who give book reviews. Except this isn't Reading Rainbow, but that's okay. I'm going to do book reviews anyways! :)

I just finished reading this book, the birth house by Ami McKay. I give it a solid 4/5. It's a story about a young mid-wife, as you can gather from the title, and it's set in rural Nova Scotia during the first World War. I loved the story, the sisterhood of women that the author weaves together, the challenges of childbirth and womanhood, of love and life. The book had me scared, and elated, and worried, and crying, and joyful as the story unfolded. I love the scrapbook element included in the book; it felt like a piece of the story I could actually touch and made it seem so real. You should totally check it out!

Summer spinach salad

I love eating fresh salads in the summer. So refreshing and cool and tasty, and often we can get some good local produce around here, which makes it even better. For some reason local strawberries just taste way better than imported ones!

I thought I'd share one of my favorite salad dressing recipes with you to try out with your own local strawberries, if you get them.

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup oil (I use olive)
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp paprika
3 tsp poppy seeds
1/2 onion diced (I never put this in)

Mix it all together and pour over spinach and strawberries. SO TASTY!

going places

Today is Asher's last day as a 9-week old baby. As of tomorrow he will no longer be in the SINGLE DIGITS as far as weeks go. 10 weeks just seems so much OLDER than 9 weeks, don't you think? Evidently Asher is looking forward to the places he will go as a 10-week old!

A weekend of firsts

This weekend we had 2 firsts for our family (okay more like 2 firsts for me, and only 1 for our family)...

1. I was able to not only get my pre-pregnancy jeans up over my hips, but also button them up with enough room to still breath, and therefore ACTUALLY wear them! They don't quite fit me as well as they used to, and I must admit I do have a bit of a muffin top (you know, where some jiggly flesh actually spills OVER the top of the jeans... I know, classy, really classy) but the point is that I WORE them. AND I still had room to actually EAT. I'm very excited about this.

2. Asher had his very first SLEEP OVER at his Nana's. Here's what I found when I went to pick him up:

Pretty cute, huh? The report in was that everything went pretty okay, despite a little stroller mishap and some gas pains on Asher's behalf. Asher did his usual evening fussing, but still went to bed well. He got up once, at 4:30AM to eat, and then (get this) after a bit more fussing got to sleep in bed with his Nana! What a treat! AND I actually got to sleep for 6 hours IN A ROW (it would have been longer but my boobs were BUSTING!). What a treat for me too. I am hopeful that, even though Asher kept mom so busy that she hadn't had a chance to even shower by the time we picked him up, things went well enough for us to actually maybe even be able to do this again in the future. Thank God for Nana's, and thank God for ours! She's a keeper :)

Proof

Why yes, yes he is (especially when he sleeps for almost 7 hours straight!!!)

Colic and motherhood

So my dear boy Asher is, we're quite certain, colicky. By the zillions of definitions and theories out there (and as Greg and I have learned, there are many) he fits a lot of them. There's the possibility of gas/intestinal issues, acid reflux, overly sensitive to stimulation, hereditary predisposition (thanks a lot for that one Mr. Lawson!)... we see a bit of Asher in all of those. The common thread we have read about is the rule of 3: the baby needs to be crying inconsolably for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, and this happening for at least 3 weeks. Check, check and check.

Asher is pretty fussy, mostly in the evenings, but also at other points during the day. In the evenings, most every evening during the week, his crying is just non-stop. Everything we try to do to help him doesn't seem to work at all, or if it does work, the solution is always only temporary (as in maybe 3 minutes of no crying). It doesn't seem to matter how little or much he has slept, ate, burped or pooped, or how much we have walked him, sung to him, cuddled him, or given him his space... always the same crying.

I, quite obviously, find myself challenged by this. Sure the crying is hard to hear after hours and, sure I'd rather be doing something else than spending almost all his waking hours trying to console him. I think most of the frustration and sadness, however, comes not with Asher, but with myself.

My heart breaks when Asher has been crying for hours and I can't help him. It's so hard to hear your baby cry and cry and cry and not be able to make him feel better. I hate that feeling, and I usually end up crying with him. Which, quite honestly, is making this NOT the funnest time in my life and I often find myself thinking "I wish this would end". That's a struggle for me though because I don't want to wish these weeks of his life away just because they're not turning out the way I'd like them to. Asher will only be this little now, and I need to remember that.

I have a feeling this is part of a bigger lesson for me. No where in the book of life does it say your child will be exactly as you had hoped. I wish Asher wasn't colicky, but he is. The person Asher is now and will be, I believe, is who God created him to be. And one of my lessons to learn as his mama is to love and embrace him for who he is no matter what, colicky and all, and not who I want him to be or think he "should" be.

And then I hate that I even use the word colic. The last thing I want is to stick some label on Asher; I don't want people to form opinions of him based on their experiences or perception of that word, which are always negative. And I hate that I even care so much about what other people may think of him just because he cries a lot. Or that I care what other people think of me as his mother because I can't help him to feel better. But I find I need that definition, that answer, for my own reasoning and justification and sanity.

Mostly though I get frustrated with myself because I don't have the patience that he needs. The last thing I want is for Asher to feel that I'm frustrated with him, or that his needs are an annoyance to me. Although I find the situation trying, I don't want that to translate onto him. I love every ounce of Asher with every fiber of my being, and one little open-mouthed lopsided smile makes me forget the hours of crying. But I worry I won't communicate that in my moments of weakness, when I need space from him or when I lose patience.

So for now I'll pray everyday and ask for patience; patience to deal when there's no end in sight. And I'll work at learning to love and care for Asher no matter what he may bring, because he is my baby and he is God's gift to our family. And I'll work at caring less about what people may think and focus more on loving Asher. I want to learn to embrace and enjoy these weeks and months, no matter what; to delight in the moments of joy and learn from the struggles what I can.

And as for the colic, well in the meantime, we're trying another remedy; the ole' gripe water trick (the alcohol free kind, of course). I don't know if it will help with the colic, but I do know that it smells an awful lot like a weird combination of dill pickle chips and black licorice. I'm surprised Asher doesn't cry more just from having to ingest it! :)

I believe this to be true...

"Suffering exists not for the purpose of hurting us, but to teach us where genuine good is to be found, and thus to make us stronger, more intelligent and more vibrant"
Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov

Happy Canada Day!

Asher's pretty excited to celebrate Canada Day, as you can see.

(and in case you noticed, yes that's wardrobe change #2 due to a diaper explosion, all before 2:00PM)