Thankful Thursday

These past couple of weeks the weather is starting to warm up and the snow is starting to melt! This means we have been able to get outside a bit and even go for walks. I can't tell you what a blessing this has been in my life. Often times the late afternoon can be a scary place in the Lawson world. The boys are getting tired and hungry and restless after being cooped up all day; I am losing patience and also getting tired and eager for Greg to come home and offer some help. I find we often get into a tizzy, arguing, not listening to each other, and it can really escalate. Being able to get both boys in the stroller and head out for 45 minutes and walk has really changed the mood in our house and in my head. I'm SOOO very thankful that we have been able to do this, and will get to do more and more of it with the weather warming up.

Sometimes it's the simple things in life, like an afternoon walk, that really get you through.

PS - I continue to LOVE LOVE LOVE my BOB duallie double stroller! So thankful I made that purchase.

Wordless Wednesday - sippy cup line-up

Funny things Asher has said that I don't want to forget

(and all in the past week)


As Asher is scratching something that is stuck on his chin - leftover lunch that I didn't get when I cleaned his face - he has a confused look on his face. He says to me "Mama, is that my beard?". When I say, "No, you don't have a beard buddy" he replies with "Oh yeah, only Papa has a beard"


For the first time this week Asher watched a Veggie Tales movie. Getting this title confused with one of his favorite snacks, he has been asking to watch "Veggie Straws" again all week.

(This next story is rated PG 13 - I apologize in advance.)

As Asher was sitting on the potty one afternoon, he happened to notice his testicles. Curious, he asked me, "Mama is that part of my bum?". I explained that the body part he was wondering about was indeed not a part of his bum but was called his testicles. Asher went on to explain, "Look Mama, it has roads on it" pointing to the lines and creases that he saw. "Yes buddy, it does look like roads" - what more could I really say to that?

And this is what makes life with a toddler interesting...

Thankful Thursday

In 8 days from today I will be...

... treating myself to a much needed Mama break.

... leaving my husband alone for his first overnight with 2 kids.

... spending the night BY MYSELF (!!!) at a B&B not too far away.

... relaxing in a double whirlpool bathtub.

... watching a chick flick.

... reading.

... sleeping through the night!

... sleeping in.

... pumping.

... enjoying some good eats.

... not talking to anybody.

... reconnecting with God in a big way.

... renewing my strength and my spirit.

... thanking my husband for allowing me to do this.

... returning home rested, relaxed and refreshed, ready to do life again.


I am so needing this, and so looking forward to this. 8 days. 8 days....

Wordless Wednesday - my fridge right now edition

Thankful Thursday

As I sit here at 7 AM, my baby is still sleeping. Still sleeping from when I put him to bed last night and he HAS NOT WOKEN UP ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!! Shut the front door, it must be a dream. I'm so excited right now! Thank you God!

Here's hoping this is the start of something beautiful!

Wordless Wednesday - random pictures from a day in my life...

Unfiltered

I feel like in my heart there are words that want to come out, but I don't know what they are, or how to find them. I don't know how to be much more than a mom and a housekeeper these days, it seems.

What I do want to say is that life has been tough these days, in my own little world. There are cracks forming in parts of my life that were smooth and comfortable. I don't like this.

I am not always the mom I want to be. I lose my patience, I raise my voice, I am short-tempered, I tune-out, I am frustrated, and I respond out of that place. Things that I thought I knew, I all of a sudden don't. The job of mothering is so much harder than I ever knew possible. It takes all of me, and then still requires more, even when I don't have it to give. I somehow have to dig energy and care and infinite patience out of somewhere and put my best face on. These kids deserve it, but I don't always have it.

In my spirit I am struggling big time with envy. It's breaking me. Envy over how quickly and early some other kids seem to potty train and crawl and sleep through the night. Envy over things that other people have that I think I need. Envy over relationships, time, money, looks, trips, houses ... the list goes on. My pastors sermon message this week on entitlement really hit home - I know this is an issue for me. I'm trying to be thankful and grateful and keep in perspective all the blessings I do have, but envy is still living inside of me. I try to keep it under control, but it's cracking through the exterior.

I'm tired. I have bad days. This is one of them.

Thankful Thursday

This has been a tough week for me, for many, many reasons. In the middle of these kinds of weeks I know it's even more important for me to express my gratitude, even though no part of me wants to do that. Finding the silver lining, I guess. I need a change in perspective.

So this week I am thankful for...

... the middle of the night cuddles and nursing sessions with my baby; I know that one day I will miss this precious time.

... feeling tired, for it reminds me how important rest is.

... getting to make Levi's baby food from scratch, for I know exactly what is going into his system.

... tantrums and challenges with Asher, for through that we get to talk about feelings, and learn how to problem solve. This is the important stuff of life, I know.

... getting to demonstrate to Asher that I am not perfect, and I too need to apologize when I do something wrong.

... this week when Asher said, "I'm so frustrated because I want that toy and I can't have it". Atleast the boy can verbalize that.

... the book I'm reading on Restorative Justice; it's helping me in parenting - who knew!

... Asher's long road to becoming potty trained, for through that I am learning patience, persistence, and practicing how to love my child unconditionally.

... Asher pooping in the potty 3 times this week!

... quick and easy suppers!

... a TV at my kitchen computer - it makes the time of cooking supper pass a little quicker.

... my amazing support network of friends - I number of who connected with me after my rough day on Monday. I couldn't make it through this parenthood journey without their listening ear, and perspective sharing.

... kids eating free at Montana's on Tuesdays!

... seeing my grandmother hold my son - nothing cooler than that.

... surprising my mom for her 50th birthday party!

... watching my mom cry as she looked through the scrapbook I made her as a gift - nothing more rewarding.

Wordless Wednesday - "Happy Birthday Nana" edition

Thankful Thursday

I love quotes. Something about a little bit a truth wrapped up in pretty words makes me happy! Each day I receive an email quote in regards to grateful living, and I love reading them. Here are a few from the past week or two that have stuck with me;

"Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps"

David Lloyd George

"Fulfilled life is possible in spite of unfulfilled wishes"

Deitrich Bonhoeffer

"Nothing is a waste of time if you use your experience wisely"

Auguste Rodin

Wordless Wednesday - winter 2011 snowbanks