More me

I love the discussion and thought that comes out of a group of women sharing their perspective on a book. After my book club meeting on "Eat, Pray, Love", I left with a lot on my mind.

I was inspired by the author and her relentless search for her truth. The distance she went to do what she needed to do, with no holds barred was so courageous, in my eyes. I shared at our meeting that I didn't think I would ever have the guts to do what she did. To take off for a year, by herself, and travel to all these crazy foreign countries.

Perhaps it was some combination of thinking of the author's choices, and sitting in a room with a bunch of women that I admire, that really got me thinking, "There are some really fascinating women out there". And I felt so absolutely boring when faced with it all. In my book club alone is a woman who composes music and actually gets published for it (she's planning on putting a piece she wrote up for competition for the new Hockey Night in Canada theme song), a woman who buys a farm share, another who takes belly dancing lessons, and one from an exotic country. I think the most interesting thing I do is attend a book club (ha!).

I guess, for me, I often feel that I have a ton of hopes and dreams and ambitions and curiosities festering around inside, but I never really manage to do anything with them. I'd love to travel the world, learn other languages, learn sign language, take up dance again, play the violin, really invest in jewelry making, become a lactation consultant, write, run, become more like or less like something else, but I always find something gets in my way. Underneath my excuses of not having enough time/money/patience/ability/motivation, I think I am actually fettered by my own insecurities and lack of self-confidence. And frankly, well that's sort of sucky.

One line from "Eat, Pray, Love" encourages me; "God dwells within you, as you".

When I get to the end of my life, I don't want to look back with regret at all I didn't do. I want to pursue the passions that God placed in my heart, because I do feel He placed them there. I don't want to be some insecure and mediocre version of what I could be. So here's to taking more risks, and chancing that just maybe, I too could be more interesting. More me.