Parenting life lesson #37

Mr. Asher is almost 10 months old and still not crawling. Not even close, from what I see. I think I get asked this question probably once every couple of days, by someone or another. And I guess that's just the mom syndrome, we all compare whose baby is doing what, mostly in hopes of affirming that our baby is doing okay or to help us prepare for that next big milestone.

If I'm being honest here, I'm actually struggling with the fact that he isn't crawling yet. The average age most babies begin to crawl: 8 months old. Asher isn't even interested in getting up on all fours, and he is not able to get from laying down to sitting position by himself yet. I think the "Early Interventionist" in me, the lady who worked with at-risk and developmentally delayed young children, is trained to be a bit more sensitive to noticing possible red flags than most people would be. And so, I began my work at trying to help Asher along.

The past few weeks I've been researching and reading whatever I can get my hands on that has to do with helping babies learn to crawl. We're trying different programs and different exercises. We've always done a ton of tummy and floor time, but we're doing even more now. I've even gotten into some Occupational and Physical Therapy info and am trying some of those tricks. I've encouraged Asher with a toy just out of his reach (100 times a day), I've modeled for him (which usually makes him just laugh), we've used tubes and blankets and my hands to help him learn how to use his muscles to stay on all fours. Asher is just not interested. At all.

And then one day last week, in the midst of one of our little learn-to-crawl sessions, Asher just got so frustrated with what we were doing. He always fusses a little when I'm trying to get him to do something he doesn't want to, and to a certain extent I think he just has to learn that this will happen in life. But it was getting to be more than just a little frustration. I could tell he was really upset and fed up with me pushing him as much as I have been. And I thought to myself, "What are you trying to prove, Mandi? So what if you're an "Early Interventionist" and your almost 10-month old isn't crawling?" I also know that Asher's emotional well-being is just as important as how he's doing physically, and I need to respect and nurture that equally as much. And I wasn't doing that.

So I'm backing off a bit, and letting Asher learn at his own pace. Of course I'm providing lots of opportunity for crawling to happen, but I'm not challenging him to the point of him losing interest. And I'm also reminding myself that just because he isn't crawling, doesn't mean there's a problem. Aside from some of the gross motor skills, he is doing all the rest of the developmental milestone's we'd look for in a baby his age, and even a couple more advanced skills (most of these have to do with problem-solving abilities or fine motor skills). And he does continue to grow with his gross motor skills, just maybe not as fast as I'd like to see happen. I guess in the end I'm reminded that my baby will grow into and be who he was meant to be in his own time. It's my job as his mama to be there to support and encourage him in a way that's helpful.

I'm sure in a few months from now when he is finally crawling, I'll look back at these days and say "What was I in such a hurry for?"