I'm sure all my lovely blog readers out there are just anxiously awaiting today's update from our swimming lesson at the Y. Probably even frantically checking to see when a new post will come. I'm sure, right? Oh, no? This isn't breaking news in everyone else's life? Well, here's an update anyways!
Today's lesson, not so hot I'm afraid to say. Asher started crying during circle time, which he never does (I do realize this is only our 4th lesson, and I'm probably not entitled to use words like never quite yet, but I just spent an entire lesson with an upset son, so I'm feeling a little on edge!) But seriously people, circle time? Only 5 minutes into the lesson? What could possibly be so upsetting about circle time?!?. We were able to break off from the group and recover, but the remainder of the lesson (all 25 minutes we had left to go) he was on the verge of losing it. I'm sure if one little droplet of water had of landed where he didn't want it to be, the walls of the YMCA would have been echoing with Asher's lovely cry.
And then (and then) we had the task of getting changed out of our wet clothing in a cold change room. You can probably infer how this went down. Go ahead, infer away. Imagine all of your worst nightmares for going out with an upset baby coming to a head at once. I'll give you a minute.
...
OK, maybe not all your worst nightmares... I mean we didn't lose limbs or anything. Come on, people! But there was lots of crying, screaming, wailing, oh, and a little vomiting. It was lovely.
So this all leaves to me wonder, is this worth it? I mean, Asher does, at times seem to enjoy the experience. And there was that one class where he didn't cry at all. Oh, that was lovely. But then there are these moments, when he is obviously (obviously) miserable, and I wonder if the payoff is worth putting him through that? Maybe it's too early to tell? Maybe he just needs some more time to adjust? Maybe I need to be more diligent about making sure he doesn't get up too early so he's not tired for the class? Maybe?
Maybe this is just my son, a sensitive and expressive little boy, and we have to figure out where the balance is of adjusting to his temperament, yet still having experiences that he can learn from and (hopefully) enjoy. Oh dear, I hope I can figure that out.
Motherhood, isn't it great!?! I will never look at another mom with a crying baby in public the same again (and I think I'm entitled to use the word never this time!)
8 comments:
oh dear, sorry today wasn't such a blast for you or Asher! I have no words of advice obviously since I'm no where near motherhood. However, I know you'll figure this all out. It's been amzing to watch your transition into motherhood. Although you think at times it's been a rough adjustment. I, as an outsider, find it coming very natural to you. I can only hope that someday I'll have the patience and love that you do for your son with my own!
Ohh Mandi! Let me start by saying it does get easier. I know what you are going through though. As a mom you'll have many experiences when you look at whatever situation you are in at the time and think "is this really worth it".
It is easier now though because he is so young. If for some reason you didn't go back to swimming at the YMCA he probably wouldn't even know the difference. It's when they grow older that it becomes a bit more challenging.
Dropping them off at church, playgroups, preschool, loved ones that want to watch him and then just the everyday routines and challenges we face. It happens SO fast and it just hits you. Jacob still gives me the big puppy dog eyes when I drop him off at pre-school. But I have to stay strong in the those moments and just think of the fun he'll have once I am gone. Even though in the back of my mind I want to grab him and just go home with him...lol.
I think you are probably doing all the right things. Every person and situation is different. Motherhood is a tricky and emotional ride. But I am sure you are doing an amazing job! It shows in the blogs that you write, the pictures you post and the love that pours out about your little boy!
If you ever want to hang out or get together to talk about mommyhood just give me a call! I know Jacob is 4 now, but I am going through new things still everyday!
Take Care!
"But there was lots of crying, screaming, wailing, oh, and a little vomiting."
Classic!
So hard to know what the "right" thing for your kid is sometimes, isn't it? Praying that you and Asher (and Greg) will learn to dance together more smoothly every day.
here i am commenting!!! that really sucks! all I have to say is that most days i don't know what i want or how i feel or how to express that and i'm so much more than 4 months old. (this isn't helpful at all, is it?) i feel for ya mandi!
Thanks for all your lovin' and encouragement girls. It's great to have your support behind me. I have a feeling we have lots more challenges ahead of us!
Kyla - let's totally get together. That'd be wonderful! I'm sure I could learn tons from your experience. Let's plan that!
Yours is 4 months old, Kyla's is 4 years old, mine is 14 years old. Same challenges, different situations. Swimming, Pre-school and first time away from home for 2 weeks. The parallels are astounding, And our responses to them are so much the same it's kinda freaky. You have no idea how close I was to buying a plane ticket to fly to Alberta to bring her back home. Funnier still, I bet we will still have the same gut responses and instantaneous instinct to rescue them when they are 24, 44, and God willing 64. It is inevitable, we are the ones who have to learn when to act and when to push in order to allow them to grow a little more each day. Danette
Danette - thanks for your thoughtful feedback. It seems that, at their core, the challenges of motherhood have a similar essence no matter what age our children are. Motherhood seems to be a constant learning ground. Hopefully I can build some strong foundations so I too can handle the teen years!
oh no vomiting too! I understand that! Andrew and i still look at each other with looks of "that's it??" when we hear other babies crying at their loudest! Rachel and sam both get so hysterical and scream sooooooooo loud, then the gagging, coughing and vomiting start! I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that. I know i'm the same way when i see other moms in public with screaming kids. i was so judgmental before i had kids thinking i knew everything to do right and that my kids won't do that (especially after working with little ones and telling their parents what to do). Boy, have i ever learned some lessons the last 2 years!!!!!!Hang in there! You are right, you'll get to know his personality better every day and learn how he might react to different things.
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