This year with you has been amazing! I still remember the night you were born, and how lovely it was to get to hold and cuddle you for so long after your delivery. The first thing I noticed about you, and the one physical characteristic that always gets my attention, is your blond curly hair. The nurses at the hospital said that it's not very often babies are born with blond hair, but you my love, definitely were. You are just like your Papa in this way - my two blondies. So sweet.
You did have some challenges early on, which were really trying on us all. About 12 hours after your birth, the nurses discovered that your blood sugars were quite low, and you had to go to the NICU (neonatal intesive care unit). It broke my heart to see you struggling, and to not be with you when you were so small, was difficult. Faithfully, every 3 hours your Papa and I would walk down the long hall to the NICU to feed, hold, and cuddle you. Despite all the tears of worry during this time, each and every time I walked through those NICU doors, I couldn't help but smile. Seeing you and being with you was the happiest time of my day; being with you is all I wanted to do. There were 2 times a day that no parents were allowed in the NICU - an hour during each shift change - and those 2 hours were heart-breaking for me. We would always scramble down to the NICU after shift change so we could see if anything had changed. Your Papa got so good at knowing which cables and wires were monitoring your vitals, and what he had to do to move and unhook them so that no alarms would go off, that the nurses joked they were going to hire him. When you were finally well enough to join us in our room, after about 3 days, we were overjoyed.
Only later did we discover that your low blood sugar at birth was likely a result of some bigger picture motor issues that you have. It's nothing serious, and nothing a little physiotherapy won't help. For now, you are so eager to move, and you want to so bad. We are working on strengthening your muscles to help you get walking. You currently move using a kind of cross between a bum scoot and a walk - the bum walk, your physiotherapist called it. You put your feet and legs in front of you as your sitting down, and one by one you move them like you're walking so that they are pulling you forward. You're getting pretty fast at this too! You love to stand and walk, as long as you have something or someone to hold onto for support. Your exercauser was your favorite place to be for months because you have enjoyed standing so much. At your birthday party many people took turns walking with you, and every one of them commented about how fast you were and how much liked walking (as evidenced by the whines whenever someone would stop).
I would say that from the beginning, you have always been an easy baby. You would sleep wherever I put you. You fell into a routine almost on your own (except for those night wakings - that took a little while). You would go with the flow, and didn't seem to get overstimulated or fussy, like many babies do. I remember a friend commenting about how surprised she was that you would just sleep so easily in your bassinet while a handful of toddlers ran around you.
The biggest blessing is how much of a happy baby you have been. I clearly remember your first smile; you were 5-weeks old. I was sitting at the counter with a friend having lunch, and you just looked up at me and gave a beautiful smile. It was so precious that I was there holding you in that moment. And you basically haven't stopped smiling since. You smile at anyone, for any reason. Strangers even comment about how much you smile. You smile so easily and your smile is so big that it takes up your whole being. I will never forget one day at church when I was wearing you in a baby carrier. You were on my chest and I was talking to a friend. She looked down at you, and I commented that I knew you must be smiling at her because I felt it. Your whole body changed with that smile, you put your whole soul into it. You smile from your heart, from a happy place, and I am in constant wonder at where that comes from. You radiate joy, Levi, and I hope you always live life with this joyful characteristic.
One thing that makes you especially happy is your big brother Asher. You love to watch him, and he makes you smile and laugh like no other person. I've joked that Asher is your personal entertainer - you always seem to be having such a good time watching him. I can't wait for you to join in on his play, I think you guys will have a lot of fun together.
Another thing that makes you happy - and consequently unhappy when you don't have it - is food. You are a solid boy and you love to eat. I am constantly amazed at how much you seem to enjoy eating, and by how much you actually eat! You make the cutest "mmmm" sound when you are eating something you really like and you out eat your big brother most days. And you will eat practically anything. I made you pureed baby food for months, and I used to throw together the weirdest combinations of stuff, and you always ate it. Brussels sprouts, black beans, and tomatoes - no problem. Pasta, peas, and avocado - good to go. You are a good eater, Levi, and you aren't afraid to try new foods.
One funny memory that I will laugh at for years to come is your reaction to birthday cake at your first birthday party. Based on my experiences with you and food, I expected you to gobble it up - but you surprised me. You had just finished a big hearty lunch when we sang "happy birthday" to you, and you received the first piece of your chocolate birthday cake. I put it in front of you and you just sort of looked at it and touched it a bit. I gave you a couple of tastes to get you going, and you didn't really seem sure of it. After a few tries, you did your baby sign for "all done". I was surprised by this, and not believing that you were actually trying to tell me that you didn't want any chocolate cake, I tried another few times to give you some. At this point you started swatting my hands away, very clearly indicating that you did not want any. You love food, Levi, but you did not love your first taste of chocolate. Perhaps this was just because you were full - only time will tell!
One of your absolute favorite things to play with this year has been tupperware. I won a large basket of tupperware at a fundraiser early in the year, and I have yet to put it away. When you are bored, or looking for something to play with, this is my sure-fire, go-to thing to give you. You have spent many an hour playing with those plastic cups and containers, filling them up, dumping them out, rolling them around, and banging them. You are content with the simple things in life, it seems, my boy. Tupperware, and our newest summer find, sand, of which you tasted by the mouthful this summer.
My sweet Levi, you have been a blessing in my life, and spending this first year with you has been a treasure. I hope you always know that you are loved more than I could possibly express; my heart hurts because it's filled with so much love for you. I hope you always know that I am so glad that God chose you to send to our family; I could never dream of wanting anyone different than you, my boy. And please always know that you bring joy to my heart and a smile to my face everytime I think of you; all I have to do is close my eyes and see that smile of yours and I know, everything's gonna be alright. We will always have each other.
With love always,
Your Mama
1 comment:
Well thanks for the tears again :) I love these letters! Your boys are going to cherish these words from their Mama some day. Oh and bet he would have ate one of my cupcakes :P ha ha Love you buddy!
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