Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
2 weeks
In the past 2 weeks I have...
... given birth, and made more strange noises than I ever thought humanly possible doing so
... had 2 "most embarrassing" moments, one involving 2 nurses and a flash light in search of my urethra, and another involving an overly active reaction to some stool softeners
... cried myself sick with worry over Levi's low blood sugar and stay in the NICU
... lost 20 pounds
... produced a lot of breast milk, and worn many an ounce of it
... lost too many hours of sleep to count
... fought with my husband more than I would have liked to over things that don't really matter
... been frustrated with our breastfeeding issues involving a screaming, crying infant for reasons yet unknown (possible causes on the table: thrush, over active let down reflex, gas, acid reflux)
... been lonely and teary and hurting for various reasons
... wiped my 2-year olds nose a million times
... watched said sick 2-year old with equal parts caution and joy begin to want to love and cuddle his new brother
... hobbled around due to back pain and had my first chiropractor's appointment
... fallen more and more in love with the 2 little boys that reside in my house
... started to define a new normal that still seems really scary and unknown to me
Welcome to our world Levi - I can't believe it's already been 2 weeks since you arrived. My world has changed so much in that short time, and you have been worth every last second of it!
... given birth, and made more strange noises than I ever thought humanly possible doing so
... had 2 "most embarrassing" moments, one involving 2 nurses and a flash light in search of my urethra, and another involving an overly active reaction to some stool softeners
... cried myself sick with worry over Levi's low blood sugar and stay in the NICU
... lost 20 pounds
... produced a lot of breast milk, and worn many an ounce of it
... lost too many hours of sleep to count
... fought with my husband more than I would have liked to over things that don't really matter
... been frustrated with our breastfeeding issues involving a screaming, crying infant for reasons yet unknown (possible causes on the table: thrush, over active let down reflex, gas, acid reflux)
... been lonely and teary and hurting for various reasons
... wiped my 2-year olds nose a million times
... watched said sick 2-year old with equal parts caution and joy begin to want to love and cuddle his new brother
... hobbled around due to back pain and had my first chiropractor's appointment
... fallen more and more in love with the 2 little boys that reside in my house
... started to define a new normal that still seems really scary and unknown to me
Welcome to our world Levi - I can't believe it's already been 2 weeks since you arrived. My world has changed so much in that short time, and you have been worth every last second of it!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
By comparison...
As per request from a friend, here is a photo of Asher at about 1-2 weeks of age:
And here is a photo of Levi at the same age:
And here is a photo of Levi at the same age:
I don't really think they look much alike at all, but they do have the same high foreheads, full lips, and all my love :)
Friday, September 3, 2010
creamy dill
I just ate way too many of my favorite chips, creamy dill, and it's the middle of the afternoon. I wonder if it's because... ... these chips are darn good
... I saw a chip commercial while catching up on Big Brother
... I'm nursing, and starving
... I'm bored
... I'm tired
... I'm drained
... I'm hormonal
... I'm grieving
... I'm frustrated
... I'm concerned
... I'm worried
... I'm missing certain people
... I'm second guessing some choices
... I'm postpartum and all over the map emotionally
I'm going with a little bit of all of that. Today is just one of those days.
(Just as a note, this has nothing to do at all with questioning our decision to have Levi. I love him dearly and wouldn't change this for the world. There's a lot going on in life in general, and I just wanted to be extra, extra clear that this is not about him)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Happy...
... due date day, Levi. I'm so glad you're here already!
... first bath!
... sleeping 4 hour stretch last night!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Levi's birth story
Lovely little Levi, this story is for you. This is how you came into the world...
My OB/GYN stripped my membranes Tuesday August 24 - this was a good thing - I was so ready to be done being pregnant! Don't get me wrong, I loved experiencing pregnancy with you - all your sweet little movements and constant hiccups - but the heat of the summer was tough stuff! The doctor said that I was 2.5 cm dilated at this point, and I felt so excited about that! A little bit closer to getting to meet you. That day I experienced some mild cramping and bleeding; I was really hoping this show would get on the road.
On Wednesday August 25 I spent the morning at our local outdoor water park with your big brother Asher and some friends. I basically sat in a lounge chair all morning while my lovely friends took turns bringing Asher in the water to play (THANK YOU ladies!). I started to have some cramping on and off at that point. This continued into the afternoon and evening, but was never very consistent for longer than 20 minutes at a time. The contractions were enough that I was starting to think tonight could be the night. Instead of doing the practical thing and going to bed early, I decided to stay up and watch Big Brother! When I did go to bed around 10 PM, the contractions started to come again, only this time they didn't stop! They came about every 5-7 minutes from 10 to 11. At this point we decided to call my mom and have her come to our house to be with Asher so we could go to the hospital. Before we left for the hospital, I went in Asher's room to kiss him good-bye and I was totally hit with "this is the last time I will see Asher as my only baby" moment. It was sad, and happy, and exciting, and weird all at the same time. We were also so very excited to meet you and have you join our family. Here's a picture of me before we left for the hospital.
That is the last picture ever of you in my tummy! I was feeling anxious, but definitely excited! We got to the hospital around midnight and I was already at 5 cm dilated! They admitted me into labour and delivery and I was anxious for this to happen. I was also started on antibiotics due to the Strep B that I had during pregnancy. The pain from the contractions was starting to become unbearable (giving birth is a tough job, you know) so I took my first dose of a drug called Fentanyl. This is a narcotic that gives some pain relief for 1 hour in duration. I definitely still fought and felt every single contraction, but the edge was definitely off.
I continued to labour with you from midnight until about 2 AM, during which time I dilated from 5 to 10 cm and had another dose of Fentanyl. Your papa was the most amazing supportive person I ever, ever could have asked for. He massaged me to help during every contraction, offered many words of encouragement, and was there for every need I had. The nurses that were with us commented numerous times that they should hire him, and asked if they could be next in line to receive a massage. You are very lucky to have him as a papa!
The hardest part of labour was making the transition from dilating to pushing. This phase is very intense and very, very painful. I made a lot of really embarrassing sounds at this point - I'm glad no one caught that on camera! Your papa encouraged me so much during this very hard time.
Then came time to push. Pushing is not as painful as dilating, but it is SO MUCH work! All the doctors said that I wouldn't have to push as long since this was my second pregnancy. With Asher I pushed for over 2 hours, so I was really hoping this would be true. I ended up pushing for close to an hour and a half with you, and it took every single ounce of my energy. There were many times I wanted to give up, but knowing that meeting you was just on the other side of this experience kept me motivated! Your papa was right there watching the whole thing.
Then you were born at 3:10 AM! You were placed on my belly right away and I was very aware and present in that moment. I distinctly remember seeing you, touching you, and hearing you. You were tiny, and goopy, and warm. I noticed how long your fingers and toes were right away and saw that you had lots of hair too. We got to cuddle for a good long time with you on my belly while the doctors cleaned me up (I had stitches this time again from tearing in the exact same spot as I did with Asher). It was so great to have the chance to see and be with you like this. I remember talking to you and saying "Welcome to the world Levi, we're so happy to meet you!". Here is one of your first pictures after being born while still on my belly.
My OB/GYN stripped my membranes Tuesday August 24 - this was a good thing - I was so ready to be done being pregnant! Don't get me wrong, I loved experiencing pregnancy with you - all your sweet little movements and constant hiccups - but the heat of the summer was tough stuff! The doctor said that I was 2.5 cm dilated at this point, and I felt so excited about that! A little bit closer to getting to meet you. That day I experienced some mild cramping and bleeding; I was really hoping this show would get on the road.
On Wednesday August 25 I spent the morning at our local outdoor water park with your big brother Asher and some friends. I basically sat in a lounge chair all morning while my lovely friends took turns bringing Asher in the water to play (THANK YOU ladies!). I started to have some cramping on and off at that point. This continued into the afternoon and evening, but was never very consistent for longer than 20 minutes at a time. The contractions were enough that I was starting to think tonight could be the night. Instead of doing the practical thing and going to bed early, I decided to stay up and watch Big Brother! When I did go to bed around 10 PM, the contractions started to come again, only this time they didn't stop! They came about every 5-7 minutes from 10 to 11. At this point we decided to call my mom and have her come to our house to be with Asher so we could go to the hospital. Before we left for the hospital, I went in Asher's room to kiss him good-bye and I was totally hit with "this is the last time I will see Asher as my only baby" moment. It was sad, and happy, and exciting, and weird all at the same time. We were also so very excited to meet you and have you join our family. Here's a picture of me before we left for the hospital.
That is the last picture ever of you in my tummy! I was feeling anxious, but definitely excited! We got to the hospital around midnight and I was already at 5 cm dilated! They admitted me into labour and delivery and I was anxious for this to happen. I was also started on antibiotics due to the Strep B that I had during pregnancy. The pain from the contractions was starting to become unbearable (giving birth is a tough job, you know) so I took my first dose of a drug called Fentanyl. This is a narcotic that gives some pain relief for 1 hour in duration. I definitely still fought and felt every single contraction, but the edge was definitely off.
I continued to labour with you from midnight until about 2 AM, during which time I dilated from 5 to 10 cm and had another dose of Fentanyl. Your papa was the most amazing supportive person I ever, ever could have asked for. He massaged me to help during every contraction, offered many words of encouragement, and was there for every need I had. The nurses that were with us commented numerous times that they should hire him, and asked if they could be next in line to receive a massage. You are very lucky to have him as a papa!
The hardest part of labour was making the transition from dilating to pushing. This phase is very intense and very, very painful. I made a lot of really embarrassing sounds at this point - I'm glad no one caught that on camera! Your papa encouraged me so much during this very hard time.
Then came time to push. Pushing is not as painful as dilating, but it is SO MUCH work! All the doctors said that I wouldn't have to push as long since this was my second pregnancy. With Asher I pushed for over 2 hours, so I was really hoping this would be true. I ended up pushing for close to an hour and a half with you, and it took every single ounce of my energy. There were many times I wanted to give up, but knowing that meeting you was just on the other side of this experience kept me motivated! Your papa was right there watching the whole thing.
Then you were born at 3:10 AM! You were placed on my belly right away and I was very aware and present in that moment. I distinctly remember seeing you, touching you, and hearing you. You were tiny, and goopy, and warm. I noticed how long your fingers and toes were right away and saw that you had lots of hair too. We got to cuddle for a good long time with you on my belly while the doctors cleaned me up (I had stitches this time again from tearing in the exact same spot as I did with Asher). It was so great to have the chance to see and be with you like this. I remember talking to you and saying "Welcome to the world Levi, we're so happy to meet you!". Here is one of your first pictures after being born while still on my belly.
Notice how sweaty I am? It was hard work to bring you into the world! But so very worth it...
You weighed 8 lbs 0.5 oz and were 20.5 inches long. Here you are getting weighed for the first time.
Your papa was very eager to hold you, and here is a picture of the first time that happened.
He was so proud! Here's a picture of you back in our room the morning after you were born.
Your big brother Asher and your Nana were some of your very first visitors. Here is our first family picture; we're now a family of 4!
And here is Asher meeting you for the very first time. He was very interested in who you were and asked "What's this one?"
You weighed 8 lbs 0.5 oz and were 20.5 inches long. Here you are getting weighed for the first time.
Your papa was very eager to hold you, and here is a picture of the first time that happened.
He was so proud! Here's a picture of you back in our room the morning after you were born.
Your big brother Asher and your Nana were some of your very first visitors. Here is our first family picture; we're now a family of 4!
And here is Asher meeting you for the very first time. He was very interested in who you were and asked "What's this one?"
Here's your Nana, also very, very excited to meet and hold you!
There is so much more to tell with this story - about how you worried our hearts with low blood sugar rates and a 2 day trip to the NICU, about pumping and milk production, about long walks down a brightly lit hallway to feed and cuddle you every 3 hours, about jaundice and being too sleepy for your own good - but that is not for now. For now your little squeaks and noises are telling me you're hungry and it's time to eat. My favorite time, cuddling with my little Levi, furry shoulders, receding hair line, tiny chin, hiccups, and all.
There is so much more to tell with this story - about how you worried our hearts with low blood sugar rates and a 2 day trip to the NICU, about pumping and milk production, about long walks down a brightly lit hallway to feed and cuddle you every 3 hours, about jaundice and being too sleepy for your own good - but that is not for now. For now your little squeaks and noises are telling me you're hungry and it's time to eat. My favorite time, cuddling with my little Levi, furry shoulders, receding hair line, tiny chin, hiccups, and all.
You have my heart,
your Mama
And for the rest of you, I'll leave you with these...
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