Sunday, April 28, 2013

A letter to my son Asher on his 5th birthday

Asher, I just left your room and put you to bed for the last time as a 4 year old boy and, to be honest, it was hard to leave tonight.  I kept wanting just one more snuggle with my 4 year old boy, and although you didn't mind giving them (bedtime is the only time that you really want to cuddle), you did remind me that you have to keep growing.  Tomorrow when you wake up, you will be 5 years old, and I can hardly believe it.

For your birthday party yesterday I put together a photo collage in the shape of the number 5 with pictures of you from the last year.  As I stood back and looked at the finished product, I could hardly believe how much you have changed, grown, and learned this past year.  It hardly seems possible that so much change has happened in just 12 months.



This year you began piano lessons.  Each week you and I head off to a class with 6 other kids your age and we learn to play piano and read music.  I remember at the beginning of the year we were just learning all the folks on music street - "C is a creepy crawly critter" - and now you are able to read simple grown up music and play it on your own.  You have also learned how to play your c-scales, and just watching you do this is amazing.  At 4 years old you have picked up the concepts so easily.  Although we have sometimes fought to do your 5-6 music practices a week, I would say that you are good at piano.  You are a fast learner, and you love to sing and listen to music.



One of the great things that has come out of piano lessons is your love of coloring.  In order to strengthen your fine motor skills, coloring each week was something we have had to do.  At the beginning of the year you were not yet 100% holding a pencil with the correct grip; now you would probably color for an hour a day if given the choice.  I love watching you color; you are so focused and engaged.  You hardly notice a thing going on around you.  Your coloring has improved so much this year!  You just colored a picture of a ninja turtle for Papa's birthday this month, and both he and I remarked at how good of a job you did.  It is frame-worthy, Asher.

With the coloring and fine motor skills, you have also mastered printing your name.  It is something you can now do with ease.  I remember in November when we went to your new "big kid school" for a pre-kindergarten visit, you could copy your name if you saw it written.  Now you write it independently, and you can even write your middle and last name as well.  You also like to tell other people how to spell your name.  This week as we were playing outside at a park, you met a new little boy and began playing trucks together.  When he asked you your name, you said "My name is Asher Nate Lawson.  It's A-s-h-e-r.  I'm 4 years old".

One of the other things that has captured your attention this year is Lego.  My oh my you love to put Lego together!  Yesterday for your birthday you got a new kit as a gift.  It was a flatbed truck with a small car on top, and you would not eat your supper or go to bed until you finished putting it together.  You get so excited to look through the instruction manual, and follow all the steps.  Lego is a love of yours, and it is also something you and Papa share in common.  Whenever you get a new set, you can't wait to do it with Papa.  If you manage to do some or all of it before you see him next, you say "I can't wait to surprise Papa with how I put my Lego together!".  Sometimes I wonder who loves it more ;) 



You are so good at building, constructing, and putting things together.  You also love to explain how things work.  I can so clearly picture you in my mind trying to show your brother how to do something or how something works.  Yesterday at your birthday party, you repeated to nearly every one of your friends how to play the party game; "First you go up and point to a picture.  Then Mama will tell you the story of the picture and then you get to pick a prize!".  You said this atleast 4 times with such enthusiasm.  Asher this quality alone makes me smile and think that you must be destined to be an engineer or a teacher when you grow up!

This year you have also learned how to swim independently.  I can remember how a year ago this time you were scared to go in the big pool at the YMCA for your swimming lessons; you clung onto us for dear life each class.  Last summer you loved to wear your puddle jumper in our little backyard pool, and you got really comfortable in the water.  When we returned to swimming lessons last fall, you weren't afraid of the big pool anymore.  For months you practiced and got stronger at swimming with the little floatation belt around your waist.  One day after your lesson was over, as we sat on the side of the pool, I asked your swimming instructor, "How do I know when he is ready to take the belt off?"  She told me that we could try it anytime since you were doing so well swimming with it on.  I asked you if you wanted to try right there and then, and I really thought it would take you some time to warm up to the idea (it usually does with new things), but you said "Yes!".  I took the floatation belt off, and you swam out of my arms and just started swimming on your own.  I was so surprised that you could do it!  You weren't afraid at all, and you seemed so proud of yourself.  Asher I hope you always know that you can do so many things, even if they seem a little scary at first.

I say this now, because I know you may need the reminder.  This year we tried to get you involved in some different activities, and so we signed up for soccer last summer and basketball this past fall.  I think it's safe to say Asher that team competitive sports is not your strong suit.  I remember your first day of soccer last year, you ran onto the field to play the game with the other kids.  About 60 seconds into the lesson, you began crying very loudly.  You would say things like, "I don't know how to do this game", and "I'm not good at this, Mama".  It broke my heart.  And although some weeks I questioned whether going was worth the fight, we felt it was important to give it a fair chance and finish what we started.  Don't get me wrong, there were aspects of both sports that you enjoyed, the drills for example, but you could never quite get comfortable in a game.  You needed one of us to be on the field with you, and you didn't like being bombarded by other kids whenever you were close to the ball during a game.  In hopes of finding some kind of outlet to keep you engaged physically, we just signed you up for a little gymnastics program.  I was so surprised when the first week, in the middle of class, you ran over to me sitting on the bleachers watching and declared, "I'm having so much fun, Mama.  I love gymnastics!".  After your second class this past weekend you said, "Mama I am good at that.  I jumped up on the mat all by myself!".  I think it felt good for both of us to see you enjoying a sport! 

Some of the other new things from this year are; new preschool at Hands on Learning Center, moving up into a big kid booster seat in the car, going to play over at your friends houses without Mama, getting dressed all by yourself, doing small chores around the house like setting the table, your love of bowling and angry birds and play doh, being able to petal a bike by yourself (as I write this Papa is downstairs assembling a new bike that you will get tomorrow for your birthday), getting over your fear of bouncy castles and big slides ("Mama I don't need you to catch me at the bottom anymore").  This year you have also continued to love; your brother, construction vehicles, playing in the sand, books, shovelling the snow, and being silly.







With all of the beautiful changes that have happened this year, there are still more changes to come.  This year you will start public kindergarten at our local school.  So far you are nothing but excited for this to happen.  The 2 or 3 times you have had to go to the school for a visit, you haven't wanted to leave.  You are excited to go to your cousin Tara and Brooke's school.  It is hard for me to think about being away from you so much since I have been home with you since birth, but I know you are so ready.  You can read simple books on your own.  You excel in this area, Asher.  You have always been a lover of books, and I am not surprised that even at 4 years old, you can read simple words, and even your favorite books.  Today you said to me, out of the blue of course, "Mama, cat and bat rhyme". 



I cannot finish talking about your year without telling this story; it's one of my favorites.  You love the beach and you love the sand.  After your first visit to the beach last summer, you began to call the beach "the wonderful beach".  Well this past summer we spent a week at Nana and Grandpa's trailer in Shediac for our family beach vacation.  One day when it was a bit overcast and rainy, we decided to go for a bike ride.   At this point you and Levi both sat in a little bike trailer that was attached to the back of Papa's bike.  As we were biking, the skies started to clear up, so we decided to take a ride down to the beach.  We stopped to let you guys out and go for a walk and once you saw the beach, you hit the sand running.  I won't forget the image of seeing you in your hooded sweater and bike helmet, running towards the water with full force.  When you reached the waters edge, you jumped right in, sat down, and started splashing.  There was a look of pure joy and silliness on your face.  We laughed so hard as we watched you jump right in without a care in the world and have the time of your life.  When you emerged from the water, there was only one dry spot on you at all, a small circle on your back.  This story makes me smile to this day; I love seeing you passionate.



Tonight as we were laying in your bed talking about how you will be 5 years old when you wake up tomorrow, your shared that you were scared of losing your baby teeth (this is something you bring up whenever we see that a cousin or a friend has lost a tooth).  I can remember many nights this past year when you didn't want me to leave your room after reading and praying together because you were scared of the dark.  I would always try to pray with you about it, encourage you, and comfort you.  I would also try to challenge you to be brave, or find simple solutions to help you through your fears.  Tonight as I laid with you for the last time as a 4 year old boy, Asher, your thumb found it's way to your mouth like it still always does at bedtime, and you told me, "I don't need you to fall asleep with me anymore Mama.  Goodnight, I love you!".  To quote one of your bedtime books; Asher, "you are braver than you know..". 

You are so much more than you even know, my boy.  You are smart, you are silly, you are capable, you are precious, you are loved beyond believe.  I have said this little story a dozen times this year, and I said again tonight.  Asher if all of the 4 year old children in the whole wide world were lined up in front of me, and I could only choose just one to bring home with me to be my little boy, do you know who I would choose?  You always smile a little and ask, "Who?".  The answer is always the same, I would choose you Asher.  I will always choose you.

Happy 5th birthday, my boy.

With all my love,
Your Mama